I have a variety of female friends, from exes, associates, former classmates and colleagues, not to mention a few casual ones as well. To be blessed with an array of women like this in my life is really healthy - it just feels damn good. I can't think of any other esoteric way to describe it. Oh, I will also admit that I couldn't be as smart as I am today without the contribution of womanhood. I think that we can all attest to that one.
Ok, so where am I going with this? Well, I was in a relationship a few years ago with a beautiful woman that I really grew to adore - and I learned something new in the process. Lisa was beautiful, cool, and exuded a warm spirit. She was laid back, yet confident. Not the prima donna type, she was silly - just like me. And she enjoyed my style of silly. She was also book smart. Completing her last year of her master's degree program, she was poised to be doing big things in state government work. We spent a lot of time together, to the point that we were almost inseparable. But in a few short months, I would be moving back to NY while Lisa would be returning to Baton Rouge to embark on her new career. Nonetheless, we grew very close. But we also began to live with emotional regret, realizing that soon we would be saying goodbye.
Each day compelled me to overextend myself in the relationship. Lisa was my girl, and I enjoyed spoiling her. We never spoke officially about the intensity of our love; we simply lived carefree, enjoying every moment, despite the fact that soon we be starting our new careers with 1200 miles of distance between us. We were unashamed to affectionately show our love. We were freebirds -- silly as can be -- whether we were at the movies, the comedy club, or simply walking in the neighborhood park. We vibed, and it felt great. As much as I felt good about her...
That day came. We had to say goodbye. Why? Simply put, we detested long distance relationships. We knew that it would not work -- it's simply not in our blood.
Despite, Lisa and I talked about the what if's, factoring the potential of being in a long distance relationship, and although we tried to be optimistic about it, at the end of the day reality settled in. I didn't want to jeopardize the love that we had for each other, and remaining just friends was the preferred safety net that we mutually agreed on.
Our last night together was emotional. I held her tightly, her tears slowly forming.
"I'm going to miss you Lisa."
The night before, as the proverbial thickness in the air swirled feelings of sadness, we just held other without saying a word. The pulse of our heartbeats were the only sounds heard all night. It was peaceful. We woke up in each others arms, and just nested in each others arms, listless, enjoying each others warm touch.
That was several years ago. I still remember the tearful goodbye that we shared before I watched Lisa drive away to a new life that awaited her in Louisiana.
And believe it or not, we didn't speak to each other for over a year after that tearful day. I tried to call her, but she never answered. This went on for about 2 months, until I finally gave up. Isn't that some -ish?
A couple of years later, she surprised me by emailing me out of the blue... and in a strange time in my life. I graduated. I am now embracing long distance relationships. Did she know this? Are the cosmic Gods working their magic? Why is she contacting me now? And more importantly, why did she leave me hanging for over a year like that? No phone call, no email, nothing. I had to ask her this.
Her response? It seemed peculiar. Or is it?
"I don't know how to be friends with the opposite sex."
Ladies, is this real? Are there females out there that cannot be friends with men and/or ex-boyfriends? I need a little help in understanding this. I've shared this story with a few friends, but the responses were mixed.
What are your thoughts?