(In case you missed it, please read Part 1 of The Absolute Worst Joke Ever to avoid utter confusion before you read this)
Have you ever been on a double date where things start well, convo is good, drinks are bubbly and everyone is enjoying the mood... but then all of a sudden, a moment of extreme buzzkill takes over... followed by an uncomfortable moment of silence? I've seen a few of those moments, but nothing could prepare me for what happens next...
Well, I have no recourse here. I am not a jokester at all. So in my best effort to jump start the mood that was... I decide to buy another round of drinks. I was actually surprised by the positive non-verbal communication between the two ladies - my date actually chimed in that she would be happy to have another drink provided that "...your boy Mike chills out with the sobering jokes.' Cute. So with that, I make an immediate beeline to the bar while Mike stays with the ladies.
Upon my return, to my chagrin, Mike is putting out another joke. Yeah.
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"Ok, ok, for real yo, I think that you'z like this joke much better.
Check it. This old lady's riding the city bus with her small dog in her lap. This dog is disgusting though; he smells like mildew dew. Boom. Shortly, an old guy gets on the bus with this lit cigar in his mouth. He takes a seat, still puffing ok? But his cigar aroma is being hijacked by smell of this old lady's dog and it starts to drive him nuts.
Meanwhile, this old lady, sitting just a few rows behind this guy realizes that dude's cigar is hijacking her effervescence. The aroma of this cigar is smacking her right in the face, got it? Ok.
Boom.
(Mike is full of "Boom" again)
Drama. Dude wants this lady's dog off the bus quick fast, while this lady wants to confront this guy over this nasty smelling cigar. So dude gets up to confront this lady, telling her flat out, 'Your dog stinks?'
Offended, this woman responds by letting dude know just how nasty that cigar smells - and before you know it, they are going at it back and forth, until finally, the old guy decides to offer up a solution:
'Ma'am listen. I'm gonna toss my cigar out of the window, only if you get rid that dog, ok?'
Boom.
It happens, just like that. grandma carefully tosses her dog out of the window and pops follows suit by tossing out his cigar.
Boom.
So the bus eventually arrives at a stop, that both the old lady and this dude exit together. They step off of the bus, look down the street, and lo' and behold, here comes her dog - running up the hill headed in their direction. And to their surprise, the dog has something strange in its mouth.
Boom.
So my question to you'z is, what does that dog have in his mouth?"
(Silence again... as we have no idea where this is going)
(I ask) "The cigar?"
"Nope."
My date chimes in "Wait a minute. It's gotta be the cigar."
Mike laughs. "Ummm... that has to be a negative. Ha!"
"Hmmm, well I have no idea, so please do tell."
"The brick. Ha ha. Get it? The brick yo... aha, the brick.
Ha ha!"
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Needless to say, this would be the last time that we would see these females. I'll never forget how I just dropped my jaw and stared at Mike. It was like an act of verbal birth control, because these ladies not only walked out on us, but were kind enough to only tell us to lose their numbers. I love my boy Mike, but without question, this was the WORST joke that I have ever heard in my life.
Has anything like this ever happened to YOU? Got jokes?
